As we all scurry around trying to complete our Santa and other gift-giving roles, it’s still important to think about what messages we are sending to our children about the holidays.
I have two friends who have told their young 5 and 6 year old children that there is no Santa Claus. My husband and I have decided that we like the magical element of Good Ol’ Saint Nicholas, so we keep the innocence of the childhood fantasy alive for as long as we can. Of course, when your children are precocious, that can be a challenge. We are collecting items for a family we adopted, and my daughter wanted to know why we need to buy the child presents, since Santa will bring them for him…. but that’s another story….
With all the consumerism and “gimmies” that can happen at the holidays, I was happy to read a column by one of my favorite writers, Marguerite Kelly, in the Washington Post. She recently was asked about how to help children realize the value of giving, not just receiving, gifts. I loved her column and wanted to share some of her advice here.
- Talk to your child. Kelly advises that you ask your children what they want to give for Christmas, not what they want to receive. Make a list of people that they should be giving gifts to – family members, relatives, or friends. Kelly suggests you make the list and hang it somewhere the child will see it. As she says, “a 3-year-old is kind and rather altruistic, but she won't remember her good intentions without some reminders from you.”
- Set the example. Make charity to others a family tradition. Kelly suggests letting family members and other people buying gifts for your child know that you would like to have your children donate some of their presents to those less fortunate. With their approval, talk to your child about what gifts you will be donating.
- Showcase your child’s talents and abilities. Most children older than three can make a nice gift. Kelly suggests children should make the presents they give, instead of buying them: “Every time a child makes a present for someone else, she becomes a somewhat more generous person.” I love this suggestion!
Here are some suggestions for homemade gifts:
- Drawings: Any child can do this. You could also go and buy some inexpensive frames to put the drawing in for a special treat. (I love these sticker picture frames you can use on any wall.)
- Painted frames: Craft stores sell wooden frames kids can decorate. I have seen these in dollar bins. Your child can paint or write the year and date on the frame, and put their photograph in the frame for a nice gift.
- Time Preservers: One great way to mark childhood passage of time is by making hand or foot prints. You can do these in ink or paint (lots of fun for kids) and frame these for gifts. Another easy option is pressing your child’s hand into wet plaster. This can easily be made into a Christmas ornament; just remember to poke a hole in it so you can add string to hang on the tree.
- Little Cooks: Many children love to bake and cook. There are many easy recipes that even the smallest hands can do with help. Kelly offers a gift of simple roasted pecans for the relatives (Her instructions: “Throw a pound of pecans and 2 to 3 ounces of butter onto a cookie sheet so you can bake them and then pour the nuts into small jars.”) My favorite pecan cookies are easy to make, and my children love to roll them into balls before we bake them. Here is a recipe (modified version of one from my mother-in-law, minus a secret, Greek ingredient )—enjoy!
Pecan Puffs
Preheat the oven to 325°F. Beat until soft:
2 sticks unsalted butter
Add and blend until creamy:
4 tablespoons sugar
Add:
2 teaspoon vanilla
Measure, then grind in a nut grinder:
2 cup pecans
Sift before measuring:
2 cup flour
Stir the flour slowly into the butter mixture; add the pecans. I like to chill the dough for a little while before getting the children and rolling the dough into small balls. Place balls on a greased cookie sheet and bake about 30 minutes. Roll while hot in:
Confectioners’ sugar
Cool and box for gift-giving,
Have a happy holiday!